Here's what I'm feeling...

I don't know who he is. I have a feeling that I may know him already.
I don't know what his name will be. But I feel like I've already said it a few times.
I don't know when it will happen. But I know it won't be in my timing.

So here's what I wanna say.

So...here's what I want to say to a certain someone. yes, I'm a total girl and wrote it out.
This conversation is gonna have to happen tomorrow at the latest, or someone else will say it for me. Which is not ok with me.

So here we go:

'Ok, I just need you to start being intentional with me. Sometimes with how you act, it seems like to me, and to a lot of other people, that you like me. I'm not 100% sure that you even realize what you say half the time, but maybe you should start thinking about it.
The truth of the matter is this: I like you a lot, and I feel like I'm starting to fall for you, which isn't ok, because I'm not sure if you have any intention of catching me.'

You know what?

I'm tired.
Sick and tired.
of what you ask?
Of BLIND guys.
Guys who chase after something, even though there's something wonderful right next to them.
Superficial boys (who choose not to fix their superficial-ness)
Boys who can't seem to look past skin-deep beauty.
Boys, who, as much as they love Jesus, still meet a girl and say 'oh she's cute,' or 'eh, she's about a 5.'
part of this frustration is solidly mine. Part of it is frustration for a friend.

Oh, boys in my life, please grow up. just a little bit.

Book idea and CRAZY confirmation

First thing's first-I have this INSANE idea for a book. We had a speaker come to one of my classes the other day and she was part in a collective book that featured stories from breast cancer survivors. I'm thinking that a collected book of essays, observations, and such from either college students living for Jesus or the siblings of adoptees would be really, really cool. I've seen books about college, but none about truly living for Jesus, and I actually think it'd be an awesome thing for people to read, especially other college students.
And I'm yet to see a non-illustrated book about being an older sibling to an adopted child. We could SO swing that...

CRAZY confirmation-I've had a particular thing on my heart, that being to try for an internship in a specific city. I have no idea why this city keeps popping up, except for it being truly God Himself. I've been praying for confirmation as to if this is truly God, or a back of my head desire to live in the city as my favorite football team :-)
Today, I went to hand a paper in to one of my teachers, who randomly enough has taught pretty much everywhere, including the state that this particular city is in. I decided to ask him about internships today. Repeat of conversation here:
Me-Hey, do you know of any good internships that would help me gain experience in (insert name of prayed about field here)
Dr SP- Oh, anywhere in particular? Are you wanting to stay in GA or go somewhere else?
Me-Well, I'm really open to almost anything. Staying in GA isn't really a priority for me.
Dr. SP-Well, I've got contacts up in (insert name of state here), and I can look up some, most of them are all in the same city.
(by this point I'm about to pass out)
Me-out of curiosity. what city would that be in.
Dr SP-(Insert name of specific prayed about city here).
(cue me falling out of my chair...)
Me-That sounds great!

So, in two weeks or so, I'll have a list of contacts in a city that I may possibly be moving to...Sometimes God speaks in a whisper, other times He speaks with a freight train. This time He used the freight train.

I Promise....

To blog more.
For real.
and to make my blog actually fancy cute and junk.
and to post pictures from the summer.
but, to tie the possible people reading this blog over, here you go
<--- this describes life as of late. Random people popping up like 'what the hey?' (like JD in the back), a little crazy and silly (like Abby) and a little clueless, but happy (like me).
i'm sure they'll love this when they see it.

I have got to blog more...

I'm gonna start moving stuff over from ye olde myspace blog, in an attempt to make the blogging thing work out more for me.
I quoted Mr. Rogers a LOT one day, so here we go...

*When we love a person, we accept him or her exactly as is: the lovely with the unlovely, the strong along with the fearful, the true mixed in with the facade, and of course, the only way we can do it is by accepting ourselves that way.
*Love isn't a perfect state of caring. It is an active noun like 'struggle.' To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now-and to go on caring even through times that may bring us pain.
*As you continue to work on your understanding of youself and others, you are really engaging in love.
*Love is like infinity. You can't have more or less infinity, and you can't compare two things to see if they're equally infinite. Infinity just is, and that's the way I think love is, too.
*It's a mistake to think that we have to be lovely to be loved by human beings or by God.

How smart was this man? I'd have loved to have had a conversation with him.

What I want...

These are the 3 things I want, as of late. I don't feel as if this is asking too much.

1. I want guys to be INTENTIONAL with girls. If I don't stand a chance, don't flirt like crazy and make me think that I do, just to leave me with a broken heart later.

2. I want guys to actually look around. There are PLENTY of good, decent, wonderful women around that are just waiting for the day they catch the eye of that guy. Most of what's holding the guy back from just looking around him are completely superficial reasons.

3. I want guys to actually not give girls cop-out answers. Yes, 'You're like my sister' is a COP OUT, especially if you're known to flirt with said person. If she was really like your sister, you wouldn't flirt with her. Chances are, you're really meaning to say 'I care about you and don't want to run the risk of hurting you and ruining our friendship'. If you really feel that, if you got into a relationship with your best girl friend, the friendship would be ruined and that's not something you're willing to risk then TELL HER instead of saying 'Oh, you're like my sister' and continuing to flirt outrageously.

UGHH!!!!!!